Wow a whole week! This morning was a little disappointing- I actually gained somehow. 186.8 Not sure how or why. Yes, I did drink a ton yesterday but I also did a reasonable amount of activity and walked some.   Oh well, I’ll just keep monitoring.

 

Now on to the “Conversations in My Head.” One of the first things I noticed and continue to notice is that TIME slows way down. I didn’t realize how much of our day is spent (my day anyway) on meals. The morning is filled with what I’m going to take to work to eat. If I don’t take anything I spend a certain amount of time determining if I have something already or if I need to go get something. Then Thinking on the way home what Jea and I are going to have when we get home. Then if after classes I was hungry what type of snack could I grab. Then of course the time to prepare it and eat!

 

Well, that is all gone.   My choices are really pretty simple and the staple now of Water is an easy decision.   So I now have that extra time. In addition to that the actual time to eat has been given to me.   Where it takes up to ½ hour to eat.   If I’m not sipping it takes less than a minute to down a 16 oz class of water. Which I do as that is really pretty filling.

 

So what happens to us when we start having extra time on our hands? Yes, believe it or not I suddenly have extra time… Ha!   Well believe it or not the conversations start. At first there suddenly becomes this new very loud voice. The body, who’s voice now is the stomach gets very loud. It is like that annoying barking dog that you just can’t get to pay attention to you.   But it doesn’t just bark. At first yes it is just grumbles and such but it quickly develops an “intelligence.” It stops making noise and actually starts conversing with you. It taunts, temps, pleads for attention and gratification.   Kind of reminds me of “Little Shop of Horrors”… “FEED ME…”

 

But then this “Intellectual” side of you that believes the value and everything kicks in and starts trying to reason with the other voice. To keep things in some sort of perspective I will call the Intellectual side my “Mind Voice” and the stomach side my “Body Voice.” Well these two are continuously conversing.   The Mind Voice is calm and patient full of reassurance and encouragement.   The “Body Voice” is like a spoiled child trying every possible way to get attention. Acting out, pouting, screaming, and then suddenly being very sweet, full of compliments… incredible loving in it’s tone.

 

So as that battle is going on pretty continuously there is this other voice that starts to come in.   For lack of a better term I’ll call it the “Apple Voice.” Here’s why, again we all know the story. Regardless of faith and how we view it religiously it has an interesting truth to consider. Not only was knowledge granted from the event, Satan had one more little plan. He knew that a part of that awareness was that we were not Gods.   With the “knowledge of the Gods” we became aware that we were not worthy of the knowledge. This is evident that our mind thinks something like 2000 words per minute and 70 % of that is negative.

 

Now since I am not allowing for 3-5 periods of satiation or feeling satisfied during the day.   The “Apple Voice” gets to start taking control.   This voice keeps looking at all the negative things.   You know, you’ve heard that voice that keeps telling you “you’re not good enough,” “you’re fat, out of shape, etc.” “He/she won’t like you…” Blah, blah, blah…  

 

The “Mind Voice” which is also busy trying to help you through your day.   Struggles! It battles the “Body voice” which does seem to weaken and become more accepting with each day. But on the other front the “Apple Voice” gets stronger.

 

Now maybe here is the “Spiritual” side of all the fasting stuff.   I am starting to hear another voice enter the arena.   I will call it my “Spirit Voice”   It is very feint right now but I can tell it is very powerful.   It doesn’t try to reason with the “Apple Voice” in fact, I’m not aware of any actually conversations it's more like; for lack of a better term, music or song.   Like a sweet soft hum. You know the kind you heard as a child when your mom was humming in the kitchen making your breakfast and for some reason you felt joy and excitement to get up.   It’s like that.

 

Well this “Spirit Voice” does an amazing job of quieting the “Apple Voice.” Yes, the “Apple Voice” is always there and the “Spirit Voice” doesn’t attempt to stop it. The "Spirit Voice" merely, starts “singing” with it. Not trying to drown it out. Just sing with it until the “Apple Voice” becomes exhausted and quiets down.

 

I know pretty esoteric article today.   Actually, it is really hard to put into words any other way.   Writing about it actually helps me to understand it all that much more.  

 

Now, I will be out of touch for the weekend. So no entries until Monday then I will catch you up.   Jea and I have things to do at the cabin this weekend.  She has requested that we also do some Kenpo training so that will be an added treat. She is going to do the liquid only diet with me and support the fast as much as she can. Which I really appreciate the support. The cabin is very special to me as we usually have amazing meals up there…. No I’m going to have to appreciate other aspects of the cabin… Shouldn't be too hard!

 

Have a great weekend!